The Evil Marmayuk or Or The Adventures of Queenie & Dolphy by Glenn Beatty

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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must not be Performed or Copied without the Author’s prior consent


PROLOGUE

      BOB
      Hello! And welcome to our show! I said, “Hello!”

      (gets response.)

      That’s better. That’s a lot better. Today we’re going to take you on a
      little journey. What’s a journey?
      (Waits for response)

      That’s right! A journey is a trip; when you go somewhere; travel
      somewhere. Well, we’re all going on a trip and on that trip, we’re
      going to need your help. We’re going to ask you to do different things
      that are important to the show, that only you can do! For instance,
      clap your hands. Okay, everybody clap your hands! That’s it! That’s
      very good! Now, stamp your feet! Good! Very good! Now, how about
      “booing” the bad monster? Come on, lets’ boo!!! Good! And what
      about yelling “yeah” and “hooray” for the good people?!! Come
      on, yell with me! Good, very good! Now let’s repeat: clapping?  Very
      good! Stamping your feet? Very good! “Booing”? Very good!
      “yeahing”? Good! And Hooraying? Good! Great! Wonderful! Now,  if
      we can all get very very quiet, yes, quiet now… because this play
      takes place… in a magical place and you know you always need
      “perfect silence” for magic, right…  Ok, thank you very much and
      (whispers)  enjoy the show!

      (Lights dim to black)

      (Play begins in black out with storm noises. We hear Dolphy crying)

      Dolphy
      Mommy! I want my mommy. I want my mommy.
      (lights up) I want my mommy.

      Queenie
      Dolphy, be quiet, please. Crying won’t help us now.

      Dolphy
      But that evil thing took my mommy way (cries)

      Queenie
      Dolphy, don’t cry, please. Don’t cry, Moms’ alright, I know she is.
      What we have to do is stop crying… and start moving.

      Dolphy
      Where?

      Queenie
      Where? Don’t you remember what he said?

      Dolphy
      Who?

      Queenie
      Who? Who asks who? Have you have for you forgotten already that you
      saw him?

      Dolphy
      Him?

      Queenie
      Or her?

      Dolphy
      Or her?

      Queenie
      Or it.

      Dolphy
      Or it?

      (sound cue Marmayuk monster noise)

      Queenie
      That thing!

      (sound cue repeat above Marmayuk monster noise)

      Dolphy
      What…thing?

      (flashback…lights change, silhouette of Marmayuk upstage)

      Marmayuk
      I am Marmayuk! Evil of most evil and worst of worsts! You have
      something I want!

      Dolphy
      No we don’t Mr. Marmaduck.

      Marmayuk
      Silence! And its’ Marmayuk, not Marmaduck. Marmaduck is a… duck and
      you will be one, too, if you say Marmaduck one more time!

      Dolphy
      Yes sir, Marmaduck sir. Oh, yucko! Sorry sir! Sorry, sorry Mr. Yucko!
      Oh,sorry! Sorry,  Sir, Marmayuk, Sir! Lord Marmayuk, Sir… King
      Marma…

      Marmayuk
      Silence! I have recently discovered that your mother was given the
      secret for a very special medicine called the Magical Mist, which can
      make all people well.

      Dolphy
      Yes, and it really works, too. I had the flu and it took it right
      away! And…

      Queenie
      Queenie, thats’ enough.

      Marmayuk
      Where is it?

      Queenie
      We never had it; except when we were sick. Mother kept it will hidden.

      Marmayuk
      Well, I have your mother.

      Queenie and dolphy
      What? You give her back you…

      (sound Effect. Marmayuk magically throws the two children to the
      ground)

      Marmayuk
      Silence! Now, you children listen and listen well! The secret of the
      Magical Mist will make me rich, ha-ha.. because I only those with
      stacks of money will be allowed to buy!!!

      Queenie
      But that means poor people like us will never be able…

      Marmayuk
      What do I care for the poor? I want money! Ha-ha! But you had better
      care and care a lot!

      Queenie
      What have you done with our mother?
      Marmayuk
      Silence! One more word and you’ll never see her again!

      (pause - Queenie races her hand)

      Marmayuk (continued)
      Yes?

      Queenie
      May I speak, please?

      Marmayuk
      Now that’s the way to behave. Yes, you may speak. Go ahead.

      Queenie
      Our mother, is she alright? Does she have pain?

      Marmayuk
      For right now, she is fine and she has no pain.

      Queenie
      What must we do to get her back safely?

      Marmayuk
      Well, well, a very smart child. I like you more and more.

      Queenie
      Please…

      Queenie
      Please! Please? You dare say “please” to me? I said your mother
      had no pay now, ha-ha but that doesn’t mean she won’t have pain soon,
      h-ha. So, don’t push me! Now, come closer and ... LISTEN! Now, you
      will go to the “Echoing Forest of Finn”.

      (Offstage Echo: “Finn – Finn” -  pause)
      and seek out…

      Queenie
      The “Echoing Forest of Finn”....
      (as above offstage echo Finn-Finn)
      But no one who has ever gone in has ever come out!

      Marmayuk
      I know, ha-ha! That’s enough. You will seek out their leader,
      Finn-ninn-ninner.

      Dolphy
      Finn-ninn-ninner?

      Marmayuk
      That’s what I said. Finn-ninn-ninner! He knows the secret of the
      Magical Mist. Get it from him and return here. When it is in my hands,
      I will return your Mother to you. If you come back with empty
      hands….

      Dolphy
      But no one has ever…

      Queenie
      We will, Dolphy, we…

      Dolphy
      But what if we don’t.

      Queenie
      We will.

      Marmayuk
      If you don’t it is simple. Your mother will not be alright and and she
      will have pain!

      (Pause)

      Queenie & Dolphy

      But, but…
      Marmayuk
      Go now, do not fail! Bring me the secret of the Magical Mist or your
      Mother, ha-ha, your Mother, ha-ha, your Mother ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

      (sound effects - echo of laughter amplified - repeat of Marmayuks’
      entrance noises and blackout/Crossfade)

      Queenie
      Now, Dolphy, now do you remember?
      (pause)

      Dolphy? Dolphy?
      (Dolphy is hiding up stage and Queenie discovers him)

      Queenie
      Dolphy…

      Dolphy
      What?

      Queenie
      What. What. Do you remember?
      (she imitates my Marmayuk)

      Dolphy
      Yes. I remember, I remember! Let’s go, let’s go! Come on, let’s go.

      Queenie
      Where?

      Dolphy
      (starts crying)
      To those scary send people in the scary echoing forest! Scarey,
      scarey,scarey!
      (cries more)

      Dolphy, that’s enough! That’s enough! Because…

      (song: duet, Dolphy sings alone at first)

      “We’re on a mission for mom!
      our moms in danger
      our moms in danger
      and we must have courage and face every stranger, every danger…
      for…

      we’re on a mission for Mom
      We’ll fight any Dick, Harry or Tom
      We’ll brave every danger
      We’ll fight every stranger
      for we’re on a mission for mom!

      (speaks)

      Now, come on, Dolphy.

      (Queenie and Dolphy sing together)

      we’re on a mission for Mom
      We’ll fight any Dick, Harry or Tom
      We’ll brave every danger
      We’ll fight every stranger
      for we’re on a mission for mom!

      Queenie
      Ready now, Dolphy?

      Dolphy
      I’m ready now. I think.

      Queenie
      Ready, ready we’re halfway there already. Alright let’s go this way.

      Dolphy
      Could we eat first? I’m starving here.

      Queenie
      Eat? Eat what now? We’re sort of in a hurry, Dolphy.

      Dolphy
      Look, what’s this? A bush with strange berries! Let’s eat some.

      Queenie
      Dolphy, don’t…

      Bush
      Don’t you dare touch my berries! Don’t you, don’t you dare touch my
      berries! I’ll teach you! I’ll teach you!

      (BUSH beats DOLPHY)

      Dolphy
      Stop it! Hey, cut it out, leave me alone…

      Queenie
      You leave my brother alone!

      (She beats the BUSH and Dolphy rallies to help her)

      Queenie (continued)
      What did he do to you, Dolphy?  You bad bush!

      (THEY continue beating Bush and ad lib as all three take part in a
      short chase scene)

      Bush
      Hey, hey! Okay, okay! I’m just a bush, I’m just a little, poor,
      little, little, poor, little bush1 I can only defend myself so much,
      so much. Uncle already! Uncle, uncle,  already! You want berries? You
      want fruit, huh?  Okay, okay! You only have to say please and you
      would get all you want.. with ease, with ease.

      Queenie & Dolphy
      Really? Oh, oh. Please, oh, please!

      Bush
      Of course! Have some of my left upper, it’s the tastiest!

      (As QUEENIE and DOLPHY eat, the bush bonks them on the head and knocks
      them out)

      Oh, goodie, goodie, goodie! Oh, goodie, goodie, goodie!  Oh, goodie,
      goodie, goodie! The joke’s on them! They will wake up with full
      bellies but They’ll have her hurt heads!

      (Laughs and speaks to audience)

      So… am I good or am I bad? Huh? Tell me, huh? Tell me, huh?
      (as HE exits)

      Huh,huh, huh?

      (and the BUSH gone and blackout/Crossfade/lights up)

      Queenie and dolphy
      Oh,my head hurts. Are you alright?

      (they both see the FROZEN MAN; sound cue)

      Queenie and dolphy (cont’d)
      Is this a dream?

      Queenie
      Or is this real?

      Dolphy
      First a bush that talks and now…

      Queenie and Dolphy
      a..a… Frozen Man?

      Dolphy
      We should try to help..

      (as he moves towards FROZEN MAN)

      QUEENIE
      Wait! Wait! Mom said to be kind but she also said, “be careful of
      things you don’t know about!”

      Dolphy
      (Impatient)

      But she also said to look at things and see if they could hurt you…

      Queenie
      Guess we forgot about the bush.

      Dolphy
      Yeah.

      (THEY laugh)

      Dolphy (cont’d)
      So, we better be careful now right?

      Queenie
      Right. Soooo, it doesn’t seem to be moving and it sure looks cold…
      let’s touch him and see..

      (THEY touch HIM and HE groans)

      Frozen Man
      Ohhhhhhhh.

      Queenie and Dolphy
      Ohhhhhhhh.
      (as THEY run and scream)


      Frozen Man
      Please.

      (HE groans)

      Ohhhhhhhh.

      Queenie and Dolphy
      What’s this? Let’s try again.
      (THEY creep up to HIM and touch HIM)

      Frozen Man
      Ohhhhhhhh.  Ohhhhhhhh.

      Queenie and Dolphy
      (THEY run and scream)
      Ohhhhhhhh.

      Frozen Man
      (groans)
      Heeeeeelp! Help!

      Queenie
      Dolphy, he said, “help”!

      Dolphy
      I know, I heard him. You go help him, Sis, I’ll stay here.

      Queenie
      Dolphy…

      Dolphy
      Okay, okay, I’m coming, I’m coming.

      (THEY creep up on the FROZEN MAN slowly and they deliberately and just
      as THEY are about to touch him…)

      Queenie
      Come on now, we…

      (...and the FROZEN MAN grabs there arms and they scream as the FROZEN
      MAN shakes and yells:)

      Frozen Man
      Rub! Rub! Rub! Rub with all your might! Rub! Rub!

      (By this time, THEY & FROZEN MAN are rubbing and screaming, etc.)

      Frozen Man (cont’d)
      Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

      (HE sings and tap dances the “TWINKLES THANK YOU”)

      OHHHH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
      I’M UNFROZEN, I’M UNFROZEN!
      I’M UNFROOOO-OOO-OOO-ZEN-ZEN-ZEN!

      I WAS FROZEN, OH, SO COLD,
      YOU CAME AND TOUCHED ME, OH SO BOLD.
      I WAS FROZEN, OH, SO COLD,
      YOU CAME AND TOUCHED ME, OH SO BOLD.

      OH, WHAT CAN I DO TO THANK YOU?
      OH, WHAT CAN I DO TO THANK YOU?
      OH, ZODE, ZODE, ZODE!!!

      (Song ends)

      Queenie
      Gee, FROZEN MAN or UNFROZEN MAN…

      TWINKLES
      Call me Twinkles, everybody else does,  ‘cause I love to dance and
      “Twink” all the time!  Oh, I’m so happy I’m not cold anymore! Oh,
      thank you both. Thank you.

      Dolphy
      You’re welcome.

      Queenie
      You’re welcome.

      TWINKLES
      But, what are you doing here? Two more steps and…
      (Queenie takes two steps)

      Queenie
      Excuse me, Twinkles but we’re in desperate trouble. We need to go to
      the Echoing Forest in Finn.

      (We hear the echo from offstage: “Finn, Finn”)

      TWINKLES
      You heard me say, “two more steps”..
      (Echo offstage: “steps, steps”)

      Queenie
      Yes.

      (Echo: “Yes, yes”)

      Twinkles
      Well, you took two steps and you’re here!
      (Echo offstage: “Here, here”)

      Dolphy
      Here.

      (Echo offstage: “Here, here”)

      Queenie & Twinkles
      In the echoing forest of Finn!

      (Echo offstage: “Finn,Finn” and Queenie and Dolphy has fun
      repeating…)

      Finn!
      (Offtage echo: Finn, Finn”

      Finn!
      (Offtage echo: Finn, Finn”

      Queenie & Twinkles cont’d
      Finn!

      (Offstage echo: “Finn, Finn”

      (Pause – then offstage echo voices: Don’t Play!)

      Twinkles
      We won’t!

      Queenie
      Twinkles, since we’re here, can you take us to Finn-ninn-ner? It’s a
      matter of life and…

      (Echo offstage: Life and…)

      Twinkles
      Finn-ninn-ner?
      (Offstage echo: “Ninner, Ninner”)

      Twinkles cont’d
      Ah…no.  Ah…nix…ah…never. Ah…Nevada. “The”...

      Finn-ninn-ner?
      (Offstage echo: “Ninner, Ninner”)

      It’s a matter of life and…

      Twinkles
      No, Nix, Never, Nevada!
      (Offstage echo: “Nevada, Ya Gotta”)

      (...all THREE react to Ya Gotta!)

[end of extract]

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