The Evil Marmayuk or Or The Adventures of Queenie & Dolphy by Glenn Beatty

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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must not be Performed or Copied without the Author's prior consent


PROLOGUE

BOB
Hello! And welcome to our show! I said, "Hello!"

(gets response.)

That's better. That's a lot better. Today we're going to take you on a
little journey. What's a journey?
(Waits for response)

That's right! A journey is a trip; when you go somewhere; travel
somewhere. Well, we're all going on a trip and on that trip, we're
going to need your help. We're going to ask you to do different things
that are important to the show, that only you can do! For instance,
clap your hands. Okay, everybody clap your hands! That's it! That's
very good! Now, stamp your feet! Good! Very good! Now, how about
"booing" the bad monster? Come on, lets' boo!!! Good! And what
about yelling "yeah" and "hooray" for the good people?!! Come
on, yell with me! Good, very good! Now let's repeat: clapping? Very
good! Stamping your feet? Very good! "Booing"? Very good!
"yeahing"? Good! And Hooraying? Good! Great! Wonderful! Now, if
we can all get very very quiet, yes, quiet now… because this play
takes place… in a magical place and you know you always need
"perfect silence" for magic, right… Ok, thank you very much and
(whispers) enjoy the show!

(Lights dim to black)

(Play begins in black out with storm noises. We hear Dolphy crying)

Dolphy
Mommy! I want my mommy. I want my mommy.
(lights up) I want my mommy.

Queenie
Dolphy, be quiet, please. Crying won't help us now.

Dolphy
But that evil thing took my mommy way (cries)

Queenie
Dolphy, don't cry, please. Don't cry, Moms' alright, I know she is.
What we have to do is stop crying… and start moving.

Dolphy
Where?

Queenie
Where? Don't you remember what he said?

Dolphy
Who?

Queenie
Who? Who asks who? Have you have for you forgotten already that you
saw him?

Dolphy
Him?

Queenie
Or her?

Dolphy
Or her?

Queenie
Or it.

Dolphy
Or it?

(sound cue Marmayuk monster noise)

Queenie
That thing!

(sound cue repeat above Marmayuk monster noise)

Dolphy
What…thing?

(flashback…lights change, silhouette of Marmayuk upstage)

Marmayuk
I am Marmayuk! Evil of most evil and worst of worsts! You have
something I want!

Dolphy
No we don't Mr. Marmaduck.

Marmayuk
Silence! And its' Marmayuk, not Marmaduck. Marmaduck is a… duck and
you will be one, too, if you say Marmaduck one more time!

Dolphy
Yes sir, Marmaduck sir. Oh, yucko! Sorry sir! Sorry, sorry Mr. Yucko!
Oh,sorry! Sorry, Sir, Marmayuk, Sir! Lord Marmayuk, Sir… King
Marma…

Marmayuk
Silence! I have recently discovered that your mother was given the
secret for a very special medicine called the Magical Mist, which can
make all people well.

Dolphy
Yes, and it really works, too. I had the flu and it took it right
away! And…

Queenie
Queenie, thats' enough.

Marmayuk
Where is it?

Queenie
We never had it; except when we were sick. Mother kept it will hidden.

Marmayuk
Well, I have your mother.

Queenie and dolphy
What? You give her back you…

(sound Effect. Marmayuk magically throws the two children to the
ground)

Marmayuk
Silence! Now, you children listen and listen well! The secret of the
Magical Mist will make me rich, ha-ha.. because I only those with
stacks of money will be allowed to buy!!!

Queenie
But that means poor people like us will never be able…

Marmayuk
What do I care for the poor? I want money! Ha-ha! But you had better
care and care a lot!

Queenie
What have you done with our mother?
Marmayuk
Silence! One more word and you'll never see her again!

(pause - Queenie races her hand)

Marmayuk (continued)
Yes?

Queenie
May I speak, please?

Marmayuk
Now that's the way to behave. Yes, you may speak. Go ahead.

Queenie
Our mother, is she alright? Does she have pain?

Marmayuk
For right now, she is fine and she has no pain.

Queenie
What must we do to get her back safely?

Marmayuk
Well, well, a very smart child. I like you more and more.

Queenie
Please…

Queenie
Please! Please? You dare say "please" to me? I said your mother
had no pay now, ha-ha but that doesn't mean she won't have pain soon,
h-ha. So, don't push me! Now, come closer and ... LISTEN! Now, you
will go to the "Echoing Forest of Finn".

(Offstage Echo: "Finn Finn" - pause)
and seek out…

Queenie
The "Echoing Forest of Finn"....
(as above offstage echo Finn-Finn)
But no one who has ever gone in has ever come out!

Marmayuk
I know, ha-ha! That's enough. You will seek out their leader,
Finn-ninn-ninner.

Dolphy
Finn-ninn-ninner?

Marmayuk
That's what I said. Finn-ninn-ninner! He knows the secret of the
Magical Mist. Get it from him and return here. When it is in my hands,
I will return your Mother to you. If you come back with empty
hands….

Dolphy
But no one has ever…

Queenie
We will, Dolphy, we…

Dolphy
But what if we don't.

Queenie
We will.

Marmayuk
If you don't it is simple. Your mother will not be alright and and she
will have pain!

(Pause)

Queenie &Dolphy

But, but…
Marmayuk
Go now, do not fail! Bring me the secret of the Magical Mist or your
Mother, ha-ha, your Mother, ha-ha, your Mother ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(sound effects - echo of laughter amplified - repeat of Marmayuks'
entrance noises and blackout/Crossfade)

Queenie
Now, Dolphy, now do you remember?
(pause)

Dolphy? Dolphy?
(Dolphy is hiding up stage and Queenie discovers him)

Queenie
Dolphy…

Dolphy
What?

Queenie
What. What. Do you remember?
(she imitates my Marmayuk)

Dolphy
Yes. I remember, I remember! Let's go, let's go! Come on, let's go.

Queenie
Where?

Dolphy
(starts crying)
To those scary send people in the scary echoing forest! Scarey,
scarey,scarey!
(cries more)

Dolphy, that's enough! That's enough! Because…

(song: duet, Dolphy sings alone at first)

"We're on a mission for mom!
our moms in danger
our moms in danger
and we must have courage and face every stranger, every danger…
for…

we're on a mission for Mom
We'll fight any Dick, Harry or Tom
We'll brave every danger
We'll fight every stranger
for we're on a mission for mom!

(speaks)

Now, come on, Dolphy.

(Queenie and Dolphy sing together)

we're on a mission for Mom
We'll fight any Dick, Harry or Tom
We'll brave every danger
We'll fight every stranger
for we're on a mission for mom!

Queenie
Ready now, Dolphy?

Dolphy
I'm ready now. I think.

Queenie
Ready, ready we're halfway there already. Alright let's go this way.

Dolphy
Could we eat first? I'm starving here.

Queenie
Eat? Eat what now? We're sort of in a hurry, Dolphy.

Dolphy
Look, what's this? A bush with strange berries! Let's eat some.

Queenie
Dolphy, don't…

Bush
Don't you dare touch my berries! Don't you, don't you dare touch my
berries! I'll teach you! I'll teach you!

(BUSH beats DOLPHY)

Dolphy
Stop it! Hey, cut it out, leave me alone…

Queenie
You leave my brother alone!

(She beats the BUSH and Dolphy rallies to help her)

Queenie (continued)
What did he do to you, Dolphy? You bad bush!

(THEY continue beating Bush and ad lib as all three take part in a
short chase scene)

Bush
Hey, hey! Okay, okay! I'm just a bush, I'm just a little, poor,
little, little, poor, little bush1 I can only defend myself so much,
so much. Uncle already! Uncle, uncle, already! You want berries? You
want fruit, huh? Okay, okay! You only have to say please and you
would get all you want.. with ease, with ease.

Queenie &Dolphy
Really? Oh, oh. Please, oh, please!

Bush
Of course! Have some of my left upper, it's the tastiest!

(As QUEENIE and DOLPHY eat, the bush bonks them on the head and knocks
them out)

Oh, goodie, goodie, goodie! Oh, goodie, goodie, goodie! Oh, goodie,
goodie, goodie! The joke's on them! They will wake up with full
bellies but They'll have her hurt heads!

(Laughs and speaks to audience)

So… am I good or am I bad? Huh? Tell me, huh? Tell me, huh?
(as HE exits)

Huh,huh, huh?

(and the BUSH gone and blackout/Crossfade/lights up)

Queenie and dolphy
Oh,my head hurts. Are you alright?

(they both see the FROZEN MAN; sound cue)

Queenie and dolphy (cont'd)
Is this a dream?

Queenie
Or is this real?

Dolphy
First a bush that talks and now…

Queenie and Dolphy
a..a… Frozen Man?

Dolphy
We should try to help..

(as he moves towards FROZEN MAN)

QUEENIE
Wait! Wait! Mom said to be kind but she also said, "be careful of
things you don't know about!"

Dolphy
(Impatient)

But she also said to look at things and see if they could hurt you…

Queenie
Guess we forgot about the bush.

Dolphy
Yeah.

(THEY laugh)

Dolphy (cont'd)
So, we better be careful now right?

Queenie
Right. Soooo, it doesn't seem to be moving and it sure looks cold…
let's touch him and see..

(THEY touch HIM and HE groans)

Frozen Man
Ohhhhhhhh.

Queenie and Dolphy
Ohhhhhhhh.
(as THEY run and scream)


Frozen Man
Please.

(HE groans)

Ohhhhhhhh.

Queenie and Dolphy
What's this? Let's try again.
(THEY creep up to HIM and touch HIM)

Frozen Man
Ohhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhh.

Queenie and Dolphy
(THEY run and scream)
Ohhhhhhhh.

Frozen Man
(groans)
Heeeeeelp! Help!

Queenie
Dolphy, he said, "help"!

Dolphy
I know, I heard him. You go help him, Sis, I'll stay here.

Queenie
Dolphy…

Dolphy
Okay, okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.

(THEY creep up on the FROZEN MAN slowly and they deliberately and just
as THEY are about to touch him…)

Queenie
Come on now, we…

(...and the FROZEN MAN grabs there arms and they scream as the FROZEN
MAN shakes and yells:)

Frozen Man
Rub! Rub! Rub! Rub with all your might! Rub! Rub!

(By this time, THEY &FROZEN MAN are rubbing and screaming, etc.)

Frozen Man (cont'd)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(HE sings and tap dances the "TWINKLES THANK YOU")

OHHHH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
I'M UNFROZEN, I'M UNFROZEN!
I'M UNFROOOO-OOO-OOO-ZEN-ZEN-ZEN!

I WAS FROZEN, OH, SO COLD,
YOU CAME AND TOUCHED ME, OH SO BOLD.
I WAS FROZEN, OH, SO COLD,
YOU CAME AND TOUCHED ME, OH SO BOLD.

OH, WHAT CAN I DO TO THANK YOU?
OH, WHAT CAN I DO TO THANK YOU?
OH, ZODE, ZODE, ZODE!!!

(Song ends)

Queenie
Gee, FROZEN MAN or UNFROZEN MAN…

TWINKLES
Call me Twinkles, everybody else does, 'cause I love to dance and
"Twink" all the time! Oh, I'm so happy I'm not cold anymore! Oh,
thank you both. Thank you.

Dolphy
You're welcome.

Queenie
You're welcome.

TWINKLES
But, what are you doing here? Two more steps and…
(Queenie takes two steps)

Queenie
Excuse me, Twinkles but we're in desperate trouble. We need to go to
the Echoing Forest in Finn.

(We hear the echo from offstage: "Finn, Finn")

TWINKLES
You heard me say, "two more steps"..
(Echo offstage: "steps, steps")

Queenie
Yes.

(Echo: "Yes, yes")

Twinkles
Well, you took two steps and you're here!
(Echo offstage: "Here, here")

Dolphy
Here.

(Echo offstage: "Here, here")

Queenie &Twinkles
In the echoing forest of Finn!

(Echo offstage: "Finn,Finn" and Queenie and Dolphy has fun
repeating…)

Finn!
(Offtage echo: Finn, Finn"

Finn!
(Offtage echo: Finn, Finn"

Queenie &Twinkles cont'd
Finn!

(Offstage echo: "Finn, Finn"

(Pause then offstage echo voices: Don't Play!)

Twinkles
We won't!

Queenie
Twinkles, since we're here, can you take us to Finn-ninn-ner? It's a
matter of life and…

(Echo offstage: Life and…)

Twinkles
Finn-ninn-ner?
(Offstage echo: "Ninner, Ninner")

Twinkles cont'd
Ah…no. Ah…nix…ah…never. Ah…Nevada. "The"...

Finn-ninn-ner?
(Offstage echo: "Ninner, Ninner")

It's a matter of life and…

Twinkles
No, Nix, Never, Nevada!
(Offstage echo: "Nevada, Ya Gotta")

(...all THREE react to Ya Gotta!)

[end of extract]

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