Pride and Prejudice by Thomas Wood from Jane Austen


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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent


ACT ONE

Prologue: English Countryside

ELIZABETH (LIZZY) BENNET enters walking. She is pensive and restless.
Along with a simple melody, there are subtle background sounds that
often drift in: cows lowing, geese squawking, wind, a brook, birds of
all kinds etc. LIZZY is reading a book. She stops and considers what
she has read. She breathes in the fresh country air. She hears a
particular bird song and smiles. She continues walking and reading.
The church bell in town is heard tolling across some distance.
Groundsmen wander through with wheelbarrow, rakes, etc.

SCENE 1: Netherfield Is Let

The Bennet home, Longbourn, Hertfordshire: Exterior of a very English
and rustic garden and home with a weathered table and chair and a
large bench. As LIZZY nears the house, a piano and sweet singing of
three lovely female voices (JANE, KITTY, MARY) in harmony are heard
from inside the home. For a moment it is a background to LIZZY's
walking/thinking. MR. BENNET is discovered sitting on a bench also
reading a book. They exchange satisfied looks and go back to their
respective reading. Then a sour note, a wrong key and the whole tune,
from inside the house, falls apart. A particular chord is sounded many
times with impatient vigour then voices are heard arguing. LIZZY
perches on the end of the table and smiles at MR. BENNET. The peace
was too good to last. This squabbling is a familiar occurrence. What
is not so familiar is the blood curdling scream that follows. Three
very animated young women, JANE, KITTY and LYDIA, rush out of the
house and into the garden. They speak almost all at once, flushed with
excitement. In their state they do not see MR. BENNET until he
speaks.

JANE: Are you certain?

LYDIA: Mrs. Long has just left…

KITTY: Is he married or single?

LYDIA: I overheard her telling mama.

KITTY: Single or married?

LYDIA: I don't know. I was ejected from the parlour the instant it
was out.

KITTY: Lizzy, Netherfield Park is let at last!

LIZZY: To whom?

JANE: What's his name?

LYDIA: Bickley? Bigley…?

JANE: Is he old…?

KITTY: Handsome…?

LYDIA: Sadly, I heard nothing else.

MRS. B: [from inside, perhaps at a window] Mr. Bennet!!!

LYDIA: Hide!

MRS. B: Mr. Bennet!? Oh my nerves.

BENNET: [considers not answering, then] What is it?

MRS. B: There you are! Come in! No! No don't move. I'll be right
out.

LYDIA: Hide!!

As the girls all scramble to hide, LYDIA begs her father to remain
silent about their hiding nearby. JANE tries to drag LIZZY off with
her. LIZZY remains.

MRS. B: [bursting from the house] At last! At long, long last!! Oh,
Mr. Bennet, I have news of the utmost significance.

MARY has followed MRS. BENNET on. She has sheet music and a pencil and
has hardly entered when…

MRS. B: Mary, leave us!

MARY: But mama, I…

MRS. B: Mary! [As MARY leaves, quietly to Mr. BENNET] Netherfield
Park is let at last!

BENNET: Surely that can't remain much of a secret?

MRS. B: I wish to keep the girls ignorant, Mr. Bennet, until such a
time as I can concoct a plan. They will plague and peck at me
mercilessly, with endless questions and… [spotting LIZZY] Lizzy, you
too.

LIZZY looks to her father.

BENNET: I believe the cat is already out of the bag.

MRS B: Not a word to your sisters then. Well?! Do not you want to
know who has taken Netherfield?

BENNET: You want to tell me, my dear, and I have no objection to
hearing it.

MRS B: A young man of large fortune from the north of England.

KITTY coughs quietly from her hiding place.

MRS. B: He came down Monday last, to see the place…

JANE: [in a whisper to MR. BENNET] What's his name?

MRS. B: and was so much delighted with it that he has taken
possession!

BENNET: [to where the girls are hiding] What?

MRS. B: [louder] Do you please attend me, Mr. Bennet! A young man of
large fortune…

BENNET: [cutting her off and confusing her] What's the fellow's
name?

MRS. B: Um? Bingley. Charles Bingley.

MR. BENNET smiles an exasperated smile at LIZZY.

MRS. B: I wonder if he bears any relation to the Bingley's of…

BENNET: [having been prompted again by the bushes] Is he married or
single?

MRS. B: Oh, single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large
fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our
girls!

BENNET: How the deuce can it affect them?

MRS. B: My dear Mr. Bennet, you must know that I am thinking of his
marrying one of them.

BENNET: Is that his design in settling here?

MRS. B: Design!? Nonsense!

LIZZY: [looking up from her book, to MR. BENNET] It is a truth
universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good
fortune must be in want of a wife.

MRS. B: Yes! It is very likely that he may fall in love with one of
them upon meeting, but he cannot meet them if they have not been
introduced and they cannot be introduced if you do not visit him
first.

BENNET: You and the girls may visit, or you may send them by
themselves, which perhaps will be still better; for, as you are as
handsome as any of them. Mr. Bingley might like you the best of the
party.

MRS. B: I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend
to be anything extraordinary now. But you distract me from my purpose!
Indeed, proper manners dictate that you must visit Mr. Bingley.

BENNET: I don't see the need…

MRS. B: 'Not the need'! Consider your daughters, Mr. Bennet.

MRS HILL enters with a tray of peas for shelling, bowls etc.

MRS. B: I have it, in fact, from Mrs. Long that Sir William and Lady
Lucas are at Netherfield Park as we speak. So, presently, their
Charlotte will be free to call upon Mr. Bingley whenever she wishes!

BENNET: Let me send him, instead, a few lines to assure him of my
hearty consent to his marrying which ever of our girls he chooses.

MRS. B: Oh, you can be extremely vexing, Mr. Bennet! [MRS. BENNET
sits and turns from him sulking]

BENNET: [addressing the girls to come out] Girls!

MRS. B: Extremely!

BENNET: Though I must throw in a good word for Lizzy.

LIZZY: [still reading] Thank you, papa.

MRS. B: Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she
is not half so handsome as Jane, [JANE appears] nor half so good
humoured as Lydia. [LYDIA appears] But you are always giving her
preference.

BENNET: They have none of them much to recommend them.

MRS. B: How can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take
delight in vexing me and have no compassion on my poor nerves.

BENNET: I have a high respect for your nerves, my dear. They are my
old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these
twenty years at least.

MRS. B: Ah! you do not know what I suffer.

The girls have seated themselves on the lawn and are shelling peas
etc.

BENNET: Is that a new dress on Kitty?

MRS. B: [a grunt; a sniffle]

BENNET: I hope Mr. Bingley will like it.

MRS. B: We are not to know what Mr. Bingley likes, since we are not
to visit. You… [KITTY coughs. Seeing the girls] Oh! How…?! What!
Did I not expressly forbid….!

LIZZY: You forget, mama, that we shall almost certainly meet Mr.
Bingley at the Assembly Ball, and that Mrs. Long may introduce him to
us there.

KITTY coughs politely.

MRS. B: I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. With two
nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no
opinion of her. [KITTY coughs] Don't keep coughing so, Kitty, for
heaven's sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves.

KITTY: I don't cough for my own amusement.

BENNET: When is the next Assembly to be, Lizzy?

LIZZY: Friday next.

BENNET: Then, my dear, you may have the advantage of your friend, and
introduce Mr. Bingley to her.

MRS. B: Impossible, Mr. Bennet, impossible, when I am not acquainted
with him myself; how can you be so teasing? Oh, I am sick to death of
Mr. Bingley!

BENNET: I'm sorry to hear that; for if I'd known as much this
morning, I certainly would not have called on him. It's a shame; but
as I have actually paid the visit, we cannot escape the acquaintance
now.

A brief stunned silence from all the women. Then great screaming,
giggling, tears of joy. They all hug and kiss their father.

KITTY &LYDIA: Thank you, papa!

JANE: Bless you, papa!

BENNET: [getting up] Now, Kitty, I suppose you may cough as much as
you like.

MR. BENNET tries to hustle the girls off (except for LIZZY) They move
off in a heap, as they speak.

LYDIA: Is he young?

BENNET: Young enough.

KITTY: What can that mean?

BENNET: Go on now, about your business. I mean to read.

JANE: A pleasant countenance?

BENNET: I believe he has both his eyes.

KITTY: Papa!

LYDIA: Tall or short?

KITTY: Dark or fair?

BENNET: You'll have to wait till the Assembly and see for
yourselves.

LYDIA: Is he agreeable?

KITTY: What colour eyes?

JANE: Is he fond of dancing?

BENNET: We spoke briefly together but we did not dance.

ALL BENNET GIRLS: Papa! (etc)

He has gotten them off. LIZZY closes her book and follows her
sisters.

MRS. B: [very satisfied and excited] Well! [She cackles with
laughter] How good it was of you, my dear Mr. Bennet! I was sure you
loved our girls too well to neglect such an opportunity. How pleased I
am! [laughs] and it is such a good joke, too, that you should have
gone this morning, and never said a word about it till now.

BENNET: I did not wish to be…. "plagued and pecked at mercilessly
with endless questions".

MRS. B: What an excellent father you are, Mr. Bennet. I do not know
how we may ever make amends for your kindness.

BENNET. Perhaps a little peace and quiet?

MRS. B: If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at
Netherfield, and all the others equally well married, I shall have
nothing else to wish for! [She sits, contented, for half a beat. Music
begins, under, then] Dear lord, we must order some new chemises and,
of course, gloves! Jane needs a new dress! Lydia, as well, I suppose.
I must make a list… [She begins to exit in a rapture] Stockings for
all. And new bloomers for Jane, Lizzy… And dancing slippers from Mr.
Dunning's, I think ...

MR. BENNET, sits, exhausted as ...

MUSIC under rises to a rousing dance

[end of extract]



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