Oh, Reilly! by Timothy Quigley
This Musical Comedy is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent
Setting: Boston, MA and Belfast, Ireland
Time: 1940s
Cast:
JAMES REILLY Age 30ish, handsome
SARA SMITH Age 25ish, Boston society
SHAMUS GOODY Age 30ish, lawyer, witty
STEVEN CONNELL Age 50+, diplomat, rotund
MRS. CONNELL* Age 50+, housewife
MAUREEN O'SHEA Age 25, salt-of-the-earth, attractive
DAN O'SHEA Age 16
MR. O'SHEA Age 60, sullen, thoughtful
MRS. O'SHEA Age 60, housewife
KATHLEEN O'SHEA Age 8-12, thin
JOHN BELLOWS* Age 40ish, Englishman
BETSY O'TOOLE Age 25-35, Flamboyant
CLANCY MCGUIRE Age 30+, ex-heavyweight boxer
BRIDGET MCGUIRE Age 25ish, flirt
SEAN MACNAMERA Age 30+, band leader, ladies man
PAUL BOUTWELL* Age 20s
MISS O'BANNION* Age 20s
CROONER/IRISHMAN #1* Irish Tenor
IRISHMAN #2*, JAILER*, DOCTOR*, PRIEST*
* can double from CHORUS ~ 3 females and 3 males
ACT I SCENE 1: BOSTON HARBOR PIER. GANG PLANK AND ROPED RAILINGS
AND A BENCH / CRATES STAGE RIGHT. IRISHMAN #1 IS SITTING ON A BENCH
AND IRISHMAN #2 APPROACHES.
IRISHMAN #2 Are ye waiting for someone from home?
IRISHMAN #1 No.
IRISHMAN #2 Then why are ye sitting here gawking at a ship in port?
IRISHMAN #1 Oh, just dreamin a wee bit I suppose. About home.
Ireland.
IRISHMAN #2 The old sod. You can have it. I'll take Boston any
day.
IRISHMAN #1 And, how long have you been here?
IRISHMAN #2 In the States? Over two months now. Got a grand job on
the railroad.
IRISHMAN #1 Oh, give it some time, lad. You'll miss Ireland soon
enough. ... Do you know how Ireland got its name, by the by.
IRISHMAN #2 No. Can't I remember learning that fact in school.
Although, I wasn't a keen student mind you.
SONG: "A Little Bit of Heaven" by IRISHMAN #1
SURE, A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN FELL FROM OUT THE SKY ONE DAY, AND
NESLTED ON THE OCEAN IN A SPOT SO FAR AWAY.
AND WHEN THE ANGELS FOUND IT, SURE IT LOOKED SO SWEET AND FAIR, THEY
SAID SUPPOSE WE LEAVE IT, FOR IT LOOKS SO PEACEFUL THERE.
SO THEY SPRINKLED IT WITH STARDUST JUST TO MAKE THE SHAMROCKS GROW;
'TIS THE ONLY PLACE YOU'LL FIND THEM NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO.
THEN THEY DOTTED IT WITH SILVER, TO MAKE ITS LAKES SO GRAND
AND WHEN THEY HAD IT FINISHED SURE THEY CALLED IT IRELAND.
(SARA and JAMES enter from stage right.)
SARA Oh, James, I can't bear to think we will be apart for two
whole years-I can't. (cries softly)
JAMES I'm as sad as you are Sara, but you know I can't pass up this
post at the Belfast foreign office. Think of what it will do for
my career and our lives when I return.
SARA James, you will write every day- you won't forget or be too
involved…..
JAMES Too involved?
SARA You won't fall for some beautiful Irish girl?
JAMES No.
SARA Some black haired, blue eyed beauty…....
JAMES No.
SARA Or, some red headed raven…...
JAMES No!
SARA Or some….
JAMES Sara, no. I'll be thinking only of you. (they kiss)
SARA SONG: " I'll be Thinking Only of You" by Sara, then duet,
then with chorus (who enter as departing passengers and well-wishers.
Dance: At the end the passengers and then JAMES exit - boarding
ship - the rest wave good-bye then exit. Sara is the last one left on
stage and she sings again allowing for costume change)
WHEN YOU'VE GONE AWAY I'LL FEEL SO ALL ALONE, WILL YOU WRITE
EVERY DAY AND TELL ME IT'S SO, I'LL BE THINKING ONLY OF YOU
YOU WON'T BE TEMPTED BY SOME IRISH LASS, THEY'LL TRY TO WIN YOUR
HEART BUT I CAN'T GIVE IT BACK. I'LL BE THINKING ONLY OF YOU.
I'LL BE LONELY, I'LL BE BLUE, I WANT YOU BACK HOME SOON. I'LL
BE THINKING ONLY OF YOU.
WHEN YOU'VE GONE AWAY I'LL FEEL SO ALL ALONE, WILL YOU WRITE
EVERY DAY AND TELL ME IT'S SO, I'LL BE THINKING ONLY OF YOU
I'LL BE LONELY, I'LL BE BLUE, I WANT YOU BACK HOME SOON. I'LL
BE THINKING ONLY OF YOU
JAMES I'LL BE THINKING ONLY OF YOU
SARA YOU WON'T BE TEMPTED BY SOME IRISH LASS, THEY'LL TRY TO WIN
YOUR HEART BUT I CAN'T GIVE IT BACK. I'LL BE THINKING ONLY OF
YOU.
SOUND EFFECTS: Ship horn and bell as Sara finishes the song and
waves good-bye.
ACT I, SCENE 2
SOUND EFFECTS: SHIP HORN AND BELL. BELFAST HARBOR PIER. STAGE LEFT
DOCK SCENE, CHORUS MEET THE ARRIVING PASSENGERS. GANG PLANK FROM
SHIP AND PIER RAIL. STEVEN CONNELL IS WAITING ON THE PIER, JAMES
ENTERS FROM SHIP UNSTEADILY.
STEVEN Welcome, welcome James my boy, welcome to the Emerald Isle.
How was the voyage?
JAMES Fine sir…just fine…well, except for the eight or nine days
of seasickness.
STEVEN Eight or nine days? Its only a ten day voyage!
JAMES Exactly. I guess I should have flown, but I thought the
cruise would be so relaxing after all of my preparation for the
assignment. Relaxing…..its hard to relax when you spend most of
your day hanging over the rail of the ship while they keep
bellowing that lunch is being served or tea is being served or
dinner is being…
STEVEN Well, you are on solid ground now my boy, and we can sure use
your help here. Very tricky this business of trying to be on the
Irish Catholic and Protestant side of things while convincing the
English that we are actually on their side of things, while
letting the Irish think that we are cognizant of the English
perspective, but really being pro Irish….or, something like
that.
JAMES Thank you sir, I'm sure I will be all right as soon as my stomach
arrives in a day or two.
STEVEN Well, first, we're off to the office to introduce you to the
staff and show you around. Then, we'll get you a fine home cooked
American meal at my house. Then, after a good night's sleep in a
bed that doesn't move, you will be ready for work in the morning.
(enter SHAMUS) Oh, meet Shamus Goody.
JAMES Nice to meet you.
SHAMUS Welcome James…say, you so look a little like someone who
could use a pint o'ale and a few raw eggs to get your color back.
(JAMES does a flop over the dock rail) Say lad, this might take
several pints, and maybe I should throw in some of my mother's
favorite elixir. A big bowl of hogs head soup. ( JAMES does
another flop)
STEVEN Get a hold of yourself man. Shamus is on retainer by the
department to handle some of the legal matters for us over here.
I've asked him to show you around a bit and help you get settled.
JAMES Great.
SHAMUS You will be staying at the Lilly Hotel until your flat is
ready. Had to call in an exterminator for the rats. They made a
hell of a mess of the place, nesting and all. ( JAMES grabs his
stomach) Boggs Pub is only two doors down from your hotel. Lets
meet there after you have polished off a big meal over at the
Connell's. I'll fill you in then. See you about nine.
JAMES Thanks, Shamus….sounds wonderful.
STEVEN Dinner is promptly at six. The driver will take you to the
office, and my secretary will introduce you around. Here is my
address.
JAMES Thank you, sir.
STEVEN For God's sake don't call me sir, call me Mr. Connell.
JAMES Yes sir, Connell sir…Mr. Connell….six sharp.
ACT I, SCENE 3
CONNELL'S PARLOR. STEVEN AND JAMES ARE SEATED IN
TWO WING CHAIRS. A CAT WANDERS AROUND THE STAGE.
JAMES Thank you sir for the dinner sir…uh, Mr. Connell, I am sorry
I couldn't have enjoyed it more.
STEVEN That is okay my boy, my wife's cooking has done that to many a
guest. At least she makes a good Manhattan and buys the right cigars.
MRS CONNELL (from off stage) I heard that. (she steps on stage)
STEVEN Just kidding around my dear, tonight's meal was just
excellent-James had a rough voyage. (MRS CONNELL exits).....I gave my
most of mine to the cat, under the table. She ought to be a cook at
the Belfast jail-that way there wouldn't be any crime here at all in a
few short months. ( MRS CONNELL enters furious and STEVEN clears his
throat and searches for something to say)....As I said, in no time at
all, inmates would reform, settle down and find a fine woman to marry
and cook for them.
JAMES Well, I am anxious to start work.
STEVEN Yes, I hope you are. Let me briefly state where we are and
give you some do's and don'ts. The situation here is a political
time bomb. Do keep me informed as to what you are doing and what is
going on. Don't promise anybody anything. Do stay out of trouble-no
embarrassing actions. Don't get too friendly with anyone that might
me a troublemaker. Do socialize with an approved list of families and
contacts. Don't become involved with anyone without clearing it with
me, as there may be repercussions that you may not fully recognize.
Do say "no comment" to any question of importance. Don't give
your own opinion on anything, unless it is of no importance. Do enjoy
yourself, but don't enjoy yourself too much. Have I made myself
clear?
JAMES Yes, sir Mr. Connell.
MRS CONNELL (enters) Steven, did you give your famous do's and
don't speech?
SONG. "Do's and Don'ts" by the CONNELLS (optional see Score)
ACT I, SCENE 4
BOGGS PUB. SCATTERED ABOUT ARE SEVERAL TABLES AND
CHAIRS, A BAR AND DART BOARD.
JAMES ENTERS FINDING SHAMUS AT A TABLE.
PATRONS INCLUDING BRIDGET ARE MILLING ABOUT, DRINKING AND PLAYING
DARTS. CLANCY IS BEHIND THE BAR.
SHAMUS James my lad, sit down and get ready to sample Ireland's
finest brew. Clancy, a Harps lager for the Yank here.
JAMES Thanks Shamus, even though my stomach is somewhere in the
cold Atlantic, I do need to kill a wicked taste in my mouth.
SHAMUS To be sure, you ate the fine cuisine of the fair Mrs.
Connell.
JAMES Well, I ate a little.
SHAMUS I'll wager that Connell gave most of his to the cat.
JAMES Right. How did you know?
SHAMUS I'd also wager that the Connell's have taken in, oh, twenty
or thirty cats in the last two years.
JAMES Good God! Where do they keep them all?
SHAMUS Keep them all? What cat in his right mind would stay around
for that treatment day after day? Some say old Connell has
acquired cats of every different breed, hoping to find one that
will come back for more of the Mrs.'s cookin'
JAMES Steven doesn't look too famished.
SHAMUS You would look that way too if you ate a lunch big enough for
the Irish rowing team every day, at government expense I might
add. Plus he pounds down a half dozen Manhattans each
night!.....I love this pub ( lass walks by), the arguments, the
dart games, the lagers, the smells, the companionship (another
lass walks by), the characters….except for Clancy there, the
owner, he's a lout.
JAMES Seems nice enough.
SHAMUS Nice? Don't cross him. He hates the Brits and he's not fond
of Yanks. And, he is really not friendly with any one with a position.
Oh, and Clancy's threatened several Joes who took an interest in his
girl with a fate worse than death itself. And, he gets very upset
with anyone who works and I use the term loosely, for the
government-any government.
JAMES Hmmm. So, what is so unique about this pub over all the rest
in Belfast?
SHAMUS Ah, it is the characters who spend half their life in this
place, they're priceless…keeps me sanity in a semi-crooked
line…reminds me of the pub back home in Donegal….
SONG: "Dear Old Donegal" and dance number including JAMES, who
is dragged into the number
[end of extract]
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