Just Say Love by David Mauriello
ACT ONE : Scene ONE
AT RISE: LIGHTS UP to reveal a bright sunny day.
GUY sits on a park bench reading a book. He is neatly dressed in a
form fitting tee shirt that reads "Plant A Tree" on the front;"
I Reserve the Right to Arm Bears" on the back. His casual slacks are
neatly pressed; his white sneakers immaculate.
GUY: (reads, concentrating, nodding in agreement) When we see a GOD
like face or form, we are amazed. When we see, hmmmm, Godlike, hmm, we
are amazed. Amazed. (He puts the book down, thinks, gets the bright
idea) BEEEcause it reminds us of our own Godlike NATURE!
Lights flicker as DOUG enters. Freeze action for a split second
DOUG is the epitome of a male pornbook centerfold "before" he
strips. He wears work boots scarred from hard labor, tight fitting
jeans worn white in all the erogenous zones, tank shirt wet with
perspiration showing off his muscular arms and hairy armpits, and
slung over one shoulder is the piece de resistance, his workman's
belt laden with the tools of his trade. On one of the pockets of the
belt is scrawled "DOUG carpenter." He carries a large brown paper
bag.
GUY stares at DOUG, stunned and amazed. HE catches himself and
attempts to act normal.
DOUG: (pointing to the bench) Anyone sitting there?
GUY: What?
DOUG: Anyone sitting here?
GUY: No. No. Be my guest.
DOUG puts down the belt and sits next to Guy. THEY exchange quick
glances.
DOUG takes a can of beer from the bag and puts it on the bench. HE
pulls a long, fat sandwich from the bag, examines the tightly
machine-wrapped plastic, picks at it, reaches into the belt, pulls out
wire cutters and cuts through the wrapping.
DOUG places the sandwich on his lap, opens it and proceeds to remove
the vegetables, placing them on the paper, wrapping and putting them
into the bag. HE holds the sandwich, sizing it up, then takes a bite,
inhaling more than eating. HE opens the can of beer and swigs
thirstily. HE burps loudly, punches his chest and burps again.
DOUG: Hot.
GUY: What?
DOUG: Hot, hot day. (smaller burp) Nothing like a good burp.
GUY: Yes. I mean, yes, it's hot.
DOUG eats robustly. GUY, although he tries not to cannot take his eyes
off DOUG.
DOUG, aware, smiles, enjoying the attention. At one point THEY stare
at each other. DOUG puts a hand to his crotch, shifts his legs,
leaning back so that his crotch becomes the focal point. GUY stares,
then forces himself back to his book.
DOUG: Howjalikeit?
GUY: (slight blush) What?
DOUG points off stage
GUY: (looking off) Oh. The new condos they're building? Nice.
Expensive
DOUG: Only half a mill each, give or take a few hundred thou. (drinks
heartily) You wanna swig?
DOUG offers the can, wiping off the top with his hand.
GUY shakes his head.
DOUG: You wanna donut? (indicates the bag)
GUY: Donut, ah, no thanks.
DOUG: Cold cut sandwich? Big sucker huh? (holds it at his crotch)
What a motha! (laughs at his joke and eats and drinks) How'd you
like to get your mouth around this?
GUY: Ah, no. Thank you. Donut's aren't good for you. That sandwich
isn't either. Cold cuts? Do you realize how DEAD that food is?
DOUG eats heartily
GUY: Does your wife? fix your lunch?
DOUG: She's goin' vegetarian. (holds his nose) OMMMM. Ya know
this new age stuff. I say a man eats meat. She says "real men
don't need to eat at all." And I say, "See already they got you
brainwashed into thinking we're angels instead of people. Ha, after
eating this who can fly? It's like having a rock in your gut. But in
my work that's what I need, something to hold me down.
GUY: Meat's not good for you. And consuming it sure isn't good for
the animals. Your wife is right.
DOUG: Gita? She's not my wife. And that's not her real name.
It's her "spiritual" name, part of her yoga. We're so different I wonder
what she sees in me.
GUY: According to Plato, (he indicates the book) it's the law of
attraction.
DOUG: That figures. She's very attractive.
GUY: It's not that simple. Once we were one perfect being. Then we
broke up into pieces, like a jigsaw puzzle. Life is all about the
pieces fitting themselves back together.
DOUG: I can buy that. I want to fit with her because she's great.
We're having a baby. A boy. We checked with the radar. What I
can't figure is why she was ever attracted to me in the first place.
GUY: We are attracted to things that remind us of when we were the one
perfect being. Certain things remind certain people. There's no
explaining it. Some people love Sushi and it makes me want to gag.
DOUG: You got a special guy you fit with?
GUY: What?
DOUG: Hey, it's cool. A lot of gays live around here.
GUY: Oh.
DOUG: This part of Boston. At least that's what some of the guys I
work with told me.
GUY: That's what all you macho guys talk about?
DOUG: Hey, it's not like it used to be. Everyone talks about it. TV
shows and all. The male body is the IN thing. Some of my buddies said
a guy can get a blow job real easy around here.
GUY: I wouldn't know.
DOUG: You wouldn't?
GUY: No. (Silence. He notices DOUG staring at him) What?
DOUG: I just figured.
GUY: What?
DOUG: You were gay.
GUY: Really. And I suppose you 'figured" that if you were to walk
into those bushes over there, I would follow with my tongue hanging
out.
DOUG: Actually, that's where some of my buddies got done.
GUY: Then go! See what happens. The best you'll get is a tick
landing on your dick. Of all the arrogant. Well what can we expect
from a meat eating, animal killer, impregnator. You're not doubt a
Republican.
DOUG: I'm sorry. I just figured.
GUY: (hands on hips in exaggerated pique) And why, pray tell, would
you 'figure' that?
DOUG: Why? Here it is the hottest day of the year. Everything is
melting and you're sitting here all cool looking like you come from
another world. Look at you, white sneakers with not a scuff mark on
them. A tee shirt that says "Plant a Tree." It's like a cool green valley.
Green curtains, green rugs, green bedspread, green pillow cases,
green toilet paper, and poodle dogs, dyed green to match.
GUY: No dogs. (feigned huffy) You've got some nerve.
DOUG: Hey when a guy looks at a guy the way you looked at me.
GUY: Oh? As if you weren't posing, hands at you're crotch. Plato
would not be happy with me. "Just say love" isn't working.
DOUG: Just say love?
GUY: The theory is that what we are IS love. SO, we need nothing. But
we forget and go around looking for something we already have. So to
avoid becoming hung up on whatever attracts us we just say love.
It's kind of like a mnemonic device. You know something that helps
us remember. Look at it this way. Life is like a recording of a masterpiece
of music. Just say love helps you play it at the right speed.