JOY TO THE WORLD by Colin Barrow
This Play is the copyright of the Author and must NOT be Performed without the Author's PRIOR consent
JOY TO THE WORLD
For each scene minimal properties or set dressing are required that can be easily set/struck during the singing of mentioned carols. At the stage front and to one side stands the narrator. The Narrator should always be in light if you are using ‘black-outs’ as a scene change method. Likewise if you are using ‘the close of curtains’ on the scene change the narrator will remain in light.
OPENING MUSIC/SONG:- This can be a piece of suitable music to set the mood. Or the curtains open/ lights come-up to the full company out of costume where possible. They sing a Christmas song of your choosing (would suggest NOT a carol). If the company sings a number, the curtains close or black-out after the singing and the narrator enters and takes up position. If no Christmas song is sung, the narrator enters at a desired time during the suitable chosen music to set the mood and takes position.
IT ALL STARTS TO GO WRONG
NARRATOR: (addressing the audience) Welcome everybody to this year’s School nativity. The children have worked very hard this year to bring you this version of the birth of Jesus with a modern twist. I have to say, our dress rehearsal was not good - and the children did their best. But as they say in theatre, a bad dress rehearsal precedes a flawless first performance - we hope! So, to get you all into the spirit of Christmas, I would like you to join me and sing, Oh Come All Ye Faithful.
CAROL:- Oh Come All Ye Faithful
NARRATOR: And, so to start our story, we go…
Henry enters with importance taking short steps with a clip board in his hand, he does so front of curtain by coming through the center join or he enters into a pool of light if you are using a bare stage
HENRY: (on entering and interrupting narrator he stands fronts stage centre; quite loud) Miss! Miss! There’s been a right balls up! (You can change the word ‘balls’ to another of your choosing to suit your audience if wished)
NARRATOR: (telling off) Henry! We have an audience.
HENRY: Oh! (Peers at audience then vaguely points at no one) Hey Mum, Dad, I was right. Mr. Patterson has been a naughty boy. Mrs. Patterson caught him and is now giving him hell!
NARRATOR: (slightly scolding) Henry! Choose your words wisely, please! You are the stage manager, so show some controlled authority using normal everyday suitable language, please!
HENRY: (sags from being told off) Oh. All right, Miss. (More assertive. Important) We ain’t got a donkey ‘cause Mr. Patterson who got the donkey ain’t allowed out the house. It’s ‘cause he’s been caught at it with another. And Mrs. Patterson has got him under curfew and he ain’t happy about that and her is screeching at him like a banshee! (Making a noise as he wipes his nose in his sleeve)
NARRATOR: (taken aback; with a quieter voice) Do you mean our Mr. Patterson from class three?
HENRY: Yeah! And that has caused another pain in the wind whistle too ‘cause Mrs. Carpenter who’s prompter ain’t here either! (Points off) And she’s supposed to be making sure them lot say what they supposed to.
NARRATOR: (still with a quieter voice) What’s happened to Mrs. Carpenter?
HENRY: Her’s the one that Mr. Patterson got caught with his trousers down with. And now Mrs. Carpenters husband’s has gone off on a right one and her ain’t allowed out of the house either! (Sniffs into his sleeve)
NARRATOR: (with shock; normal volume of voice) I - I - didn’t have a clue about all of this.
HENRY: (with surprise) Then you’re the only one that didn’t Miss. It’s been the talk of the playground for weeks. But never mind about the donkey, I have a plan to improvise and I doubt anyone will notice - well, not much anyway.
NARRATOR: (brightly) The show must go on, so do what you have too and I will prompt if and when it’s needed.
HENRY: In that case, you might have the biggest part in this carbuncle Miss!
Henry exits off with importance
NARRATOR: (laughs nervously at audience) Just a little hiccup! (Grasping composure) Now, where was I? Ah yes, and so to start our story we go and listen to two Angels talking with Mary.
The curtain opens or the stage lights go up to reveal Mary sat sadly on a stool with a letter. After a few seconds two angels enter. The two dance and pirouette about in a clumsy manner and comes to rest near Mary and as they take a bow, they stumble ungracefully. Regaining composure, they look at Mary
1st : Why are you sad, Mary?
MARY: I got a problem.
2nd : What sort of problem?
MARY: This says that I’m expecting a delivery. But I’ve not ordered anything from Amazon!
1st : Ah, I think you’ve misinterpreted the delivery side of things.
2nd : We don’t want to scare you.
MARY: That’s good.
2nd : Do you remember those very old stories about the Messiah?
1st : In that case, you might be in for a shock.
MARY: I don’t like shocks.
2nd : Then brace yourself with this news that might make your knickers grip tighter than usual.
MARY: I’m not wearing any knickers.
ANGELS: (to audience) Hussy!
MARY: My bestest pair that I should be wearing is in the wash!
1st : Suppose that’s better than your knickers getting into a knot.
2nd : ‘Cause a knot can make you sit funny!
MARY: I’m used to sitting funny because of the asteroid the Doctor said I got (points) down there!
1st : Then you’ll be well prepared for the bit of discomfort in the coming months then.
MARY: I’m made of strong stuff.
2nd : That will work in your favour.
MARY: What will?
ANGELS: The information we are about to give you!
1st : Now brace yourself and don’t go getting the screaming ab-dabs.
2nd : Or faint into a heap will you?
MARY: I won’t.
1st : You’ve had an immaculate contraption but you’re still the Virgin Mary.
MARY: At least that’s good news.
1st : But there is a twist. God has chosen you and has sent us to tell you that you’re having a baby boy.
2nd : The baby will be the son of the most highest God.
Mary suddenly faints and slumps onto the floor into a heap
NARRATOR: (alarmed) Mary! Mary! You have a line to say.
1st : (patting Mary’s face) She’s out cold!
2nd : (looks at audience) Is there a Doctor in the house?
Henry enters brisk and quickly
HENRY: I ain’t got no smelling salts, Miss.
NARRATOR: (with urgency) Then improvise, Henry! Improvise!