Goldilocks and the Three Bears on the Square by Timothy Quigley
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This Play is the copyright of the Author and may not be performed, copied or sold without the Author's prior consent
CHARACTERS
Goldilocks 8-10 years old, very animated
Baby Bear 8-10 years old, very animated
Momma Bear adult or teen, great laugh, loud
Papa Bear adult or teen, stereotypical dad
Little Red Riding Hood 4-8 years old
Forest Dancers 10-12 children dressed as trees, flowers &animals
Firemen (4) children (could be doubles from above dancers)
Policeman &Ranger children (could be doubles from above dancers)
Town people (8) children (could be doubles from above dancers)
Tourist &Shop Keeper
Dancers 10-12 children dressed as 90s tourists and mother
earth type shop keepers
SET:
A cut-out of a tree upstage left. The tree has a platform behind it
and has a fork where Baby Bear's face can be seen in the fork.
Upstage center is two doors/openings with shop signs over them. At
downstage right, the bear cave home: recliner, straight chair,
child's chair (that has an unattached arm); small table with a
large, medium and small bowl on it; one small bed; and a TV with
rabbit ear antenna &remote control.. All items can look like they
came from the local dump.
SCENE ONE
The Forest Dancers, who are frozen on stage, come to life as the
lights come up. They look around and sing.
FOREST DANCERS (singing):
HAVE YOU HEARD THE STORY OF THE THREE BEARS
AND HOW ONE CLIMBED WAY UP ON A TREE
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TOWN SQUARE
PEOPLE CAME A RUNNIN' JUST TO SEE
(The Forest Dancers freeze. GOLDILOCKS enters the rear of the theater
skipping and singing nonsense to herself. She enters the stage and
turns to the audience.)
GOLDILOCKS Mother thinks I am in my room working on my lessons. Ha! I
would rather take a walk in the woods on such a beautiful day. (music
starts and she skips between the trees and flowers, and then they come
to life and dance around her - pulling her this way and that way. she
sits and watches the continuing dance until it concludes) Oh my
goodness! Which way was I going? Which way did I come from? (the music
starts again and the dancers re-arrange themselves) Now I am really
lost. And, I am hungry and tired, too.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (enters skipping through the theater onto the
stage and the now still trees &flowers &animals)
FOREST DANCERS (recite in rhyme)
OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS
TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE WE GO
THE HORSE KNOWS THE WAY TO CARRY THE SLEIGH
THROUGH THE WHITE AND DRIFTED SNOW, OH!
OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS
OH, HOW THE WIND DOES BLOW!
IT STINGS THE TOES, AND BITES THE NOSE
AS OVER THE GROUND WE GO.
OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS
TO HAVE A FIRST-RATE PLAY
OH, HEAR THE BELL RING, "TING-A-LING-LING!"
HURRAY FOR THIS LOVELY DAY-AY!
OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS
TROT FAST MY DAPPLE GRAY!
SPRING OVER THE GROUND, LIKE A HUNTING HOUND, FOR THIS IS A FUNNY
PLAY!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Hi. You look lost.
GOLDILOCKS Me, lost? Oh, no. I was just ... resting. Where are
you going?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Why to Grandmother's house, of course.
GOLDILOCKS And, where is that?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Over the river and through the woods.
GOLDILOCKS Hey, aren't you in the wrong fairy tale?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Well, maybe you are in the wrong fairy
tale.
GOLDILOCKS Well, can I go with you?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Sure, just follow me. I know the way.
(She skips around all the forest characters and then off stage right.
When GOLDILOCKS tries to follow, but loses her.)
GOLDILOCKS Now which way did she go? ... (yelling) Hey, look out
for the Wolf! Which way should I go? (the music starts and they spin
her around and dance around her like a tornado as she spins in the
opposite direction confusing her again point her to stage left) Well,
lets try this way. (exits)
SCENE TWO Lights come up on Papa Bear in his recliner pointing the
remote control at the TV and Mamma Bear putting porridge in the
bowls.
MOMMA BEAR Baby Bear, your porridge is ready. Are you dressed yet
or are you still ... bear? (She laughs loudly and Papa Bear rolls his
eyes)
BABY BEAR Very funny Mamma Bear, as usual. I am getting dressed.
I'll be right there.
MOMMA BEAR Papa Bear, come to the table.
PAPA BEAR Aw, the Bear's game is just about to start. And, they
are playing the Falcons. I love to watch them beat the Falcons.
MOMMA BEAR But dear, Gentle Ben is on the other channel and its
such a wonderful movie. If you let me watch it, I will give you a big
bear hug.
PAPA BEAR And miss the Bear's game?
MOMMA BEAR We need another TV. I am tired of living with just
the bear necessities. (laughs) Can't you make another trip to the
landfill?
PAPA BEAR Landfill! Why there's enough gold in this old
abandoned gold mine to buy a cave full of TV sets ... and each with
its own remote control.
MOMMA BEAR Oh, is that so? Since, I know you are always digging
around back there, that must mean that you are finding some gold.
PAPA BEAR Oh, you know, a flake here and there. It would take
some big equipment to get enough for a TV.
MOMMA BEAR And, I suppose you don't think that I happen to know
that you, on a regular basis, go in the middle of the night to that
peanut man's stand on the other side of town and put some gold dust
in place of a large jar of honey that he leaves out on his shelves.
PAPA BEAR Well, ... it wouldn't be right to just take something
that wasn't mine, now would it?
MOMMA BEAR No it wouldn't. That is very admirable of you. But,
you could go out in the woods and look for honey bee hives just like
your grandfather used to do.
PAPA BEAR Oh, those bees hurt! I'll leave the natural
gathering to those Mother Nature types that live around here. Did you
know that the peanut man has 27 varieties of honey?
MOMMA BEAR By the looks of your belly, you have tried them all
... you big Teddy Bear you. (she hugs him)
BABY BEAR (enters and tries the porridge) Ow! Its too hot!
MOMMA BEAR Oh I think it is okay, let me try some. (from her
bowl)
Ow! Oh my, yes. It is definitely too hot.
PAPA BEAR (to the audience) Why is it when someone says it is too
hot, they go and burn their mouth as well? (he tries his bowl)
Yeeowch! That's hot!
MOMMA BEAR Why don't you just grin and bear it! (laughs)
PAPA BEAR Very funny, Moma Bear.
BABY BEAR Lets go for a walk while this porridge cools off.
Maybe we could go down to the square!
MOMMA BEAR To the square? Now you know we only go down there in
the middle of the night on special occasions.
PAPA BEAR Like when that fudge store throws out some old candy.
The dumpsters take on a special glow those nights.
MOMMA BEAR No. Like during Old Fashioned Christmas ... the
lights are so beautiful. But, this is the middle of the day. Humans
always act so silly when they see us, pointing and yelling ...
PAPA BEAR Sometimes they throw food.
MOMMA BEAR Papa Bear.
PAPA BEAR Candy bars.
BABY BEAR Can't we just sneak a look.
PAPA BEAR Maybe we have enough time so I can go to the river and
catch some fish.
MOMMA BEAR Oh, I would love to watch you wade into a rapids and
catch a big trout with your bare paw. (laughs)
PAPA BEAR Wade into that cold water? Try to catch a trout with
my paw? Are you nuts? I just got my all-in-one-fishing system from
the Home Shopping Network for only $29.99, plus shipping and handling.
(pulls out a fishing rod contraption) The TV says it catches, cleans
and cooks the fish—sort of like those bread maker machines I see
advertised, does everything without any bear intervention.
MOMMA BEAR and BABY BEAR (shake their heads)
BABY BEAR Didn't grandfather catch fish with his paw.
PAPA BEAR I don't think dad went with him. Ha! Ha! Ha! That was a
little bear humor.
MOMMA BEAR Very little.
PAPA BEAR And, according to grandpa. He also said he had to walk
over ten miles to the nearest dump. Things were sure tough back in
the old days.
MOMMA BEAR Well, lets go for a short walk in the woods. We'll
pretend we are on a picnic, only our food will be waiting for us when
we get home.
PAPA BEAR A picnic with no food? That is like hibernation with
no sleep!
[end of extract]
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