Darkness in the Night by Rob Hockley
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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must not be Performed or Copied without the Author's prior consentScene 1
A darkened empty room. DAVE enters through an offstage window, falling
heavily to the floor. He hops noisily about the floor making strangled
noises of pain whilst holding his knee.
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) Are you alright?
DAVE stops hopping about.
DAVE: Do I sound alright?
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) What?
DAVE: I said, do I sound alright? And stop shouting will you, we have
to be quiet.
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) Only it sounded like you hurt something.
DAVE: Stop shouting. It's my knee okay? I just fell on it getting in
and-
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) What?
DAVE: I said, it was my knee-
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) What do you need?
DAVE: No, no my- look, it doesn't matter, just be quiet will you?
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) Do you need a plaster?
DAVE: No! And will you please stop shouting!
BOB: (Offstage, shouting) I think I've got one somewhere.
DAVE: (Shouting) I'm fine. I don't need a plaster! Okay?
BOB: (Offstage) Oh. Okay.
DAVE: Okay.
BOB: (Offstage) No need to shout.
DAVE: Just get up here will you?
BOB: (Offstage) Okay, give me a hand up.
BOB enters through the window. He carries a small bag with him. He
slowly surveys his surroundings.
BOB: So, this is the place huh?
DAVE: Yes. This is the place.
BOB: Bit dark isn't it.
DAVE: It's a deserted house, in the middle of nowhere, at night. Yes,
it's a bit dark.
BOB: Just saying. What are we here for anyway?
DAVE: I can't tell you.
BOB: Right. Right. So why are we here?
DAVE: I just told you I can't tell you.
BOB: How?
DAVE: You asked and I told you I couldn't.
BOB: Well how did you do that?
DAVE: What?
BOB: Tell me you couldn't if you couldn't.
DAVE: Because I can't and that's why I couldn't and I told you that
when I didn't tell you.
BOB: But you can't tell me.
DAVE: Exactly.
BOB: Well you didn't tell me then.
DAVE: Yes I did.
BOB: But you couldn't when you did so you didn't because you couldn't
when you did.
DAVE: But I did when I didn't.
BOB: And so you didn't when you did.
DAVE : No! I did when I didn't.
BOB: But you didn't.
DAVE: Did.
BOB: Did you?
DAVE: No.
BOB: Well that's my point.
DAVE: That's my point. I told you already when I didn't tell you that
I didn't tell you when I told you I didn't tell you because I did tell
you I didn't so I did.
BOB slowly works it out.
BOB: You didn't.
DAVE: Right, right. Fine, I was trying to protect you from the dread
truth of the situation but no, you want to know why we're here? Okay,
here it is. Within these walls, there is a door.
BOB: Probably more than one.
DAVE: A special door, a door that is more than a door.
BOB: Like, two doors then?
DAVE No. Not like that at all. This is a door of dark import. A door
of arcane intangibility that exists at the the threshold of madness
and reason.
BOB: Oh. That sort.
DAVE: The stars are right, the moon is full and you and I my friend,
have been drawn here, drawn here like twilight ambassadors of doom,
drawn by dark and dire forces of darkness.
BOB: Uh huh.
DAVE: Dark forces that permeate the very night in inky blackness and
pull us toward the door of the twilight shore of the plutonian void
beyond the velvet heart of lightlessness.
BOB: Okay.
DAVE: And beyond that door, that obsidian portal into dusk, lies our
fate, bound in unbreakable ebon bonds of black, carved in shadow and
veiled in the charcoal depths of the Stygian, fathomless night.
BOB: Oh well, yeah, I thought it might be something like that.
DAVE: Really? You did?
BOB: Yeah. I said it was a bit dark.
DAVE: (Pointing the way) After you.
Exit DAVE and BOB
Scene 2
A darkened room with a door. Enter KATE and LILY
LILY: Well?
KATE: It's a bit dark isn't it?
LILY: Deserted house. Middle of nowhere. At night. Of course it's a
bit dark. That's why we are here.
KATE: Because of the dark?
LILY: Because of the not being seen. Dark is good for not being seen.
It makes you harder to see.
KATE: Hmm. And why are we not being seen? Not that you have to tell
me. You're my friend. I trust you. Whatever reason you've got for
dragging me out to a cruddy old ruin in the middle of the night is
good with me. But, you know, middle of the night, cruddy old ruin, the
not being seen. Sort of adds up. Badly.
LILY: Okay I'll tell you.
KATE: Good.
LILY: But you have to promise not to get mad.
KATE: Not good. This wouldn't have anything to do with your dark past
would it?
LILY: Maybe.
KATE: Okay, and is this the dark past where you steal stuff or the
dark past where you keep setting me up with useless dates?
LILY: The first one.
KATE: Oh well, that's a relief. I thought for a moment there this was
going to be some sort of weird double blind date thing.
LILY: God no. Nothing like that. This is just about stealing stuff and
rampant kleptomania.
KATE: That's okay then. Carry on.
LILY: Well, you know how I used to steal stuff and have rampant
kleptomania?
KATE: Rampant kleptomania which you are now completely over and is
completely in the past.
LILY: Yes. That one. Well, even though it is completely in the past
and I'm totally over it, I sort of, kind of, hung on to a few bits.
And pieces. And things.
KATE: Sort of hung on?
LILY: A bit.
KATE: Where?
Both girls look at the door. KATE glares back accusingly. She opens
the door slowly and looks inside. She closes the door quickly.
KATE: A bit!?
LILY: Don't judge me!
KATE: Lily!
KATE opens the door again and walks in.
KATE: There's tons in here!
LILY: It's just a few things! Important things! I couldn't just throw
them away. And I said don't judge me.
KATE picks up items and shows them to us, her hand reaching past the
door.
KATE: (Brandishing item) How is this important?
LILY: The first thing I ever stole. Couldn't let it go could I.
Memories and stuff.
KATE: (Brandishing second item) And this?
LILY: The second thing I ever stole?
KATE: (Brandishing third item) This?
LILY: Memories?
KATE: (Brandishing fourth item)
LILY: Stuff?
KATE Walks out of closet holding a pair of ridiculous shoes.
KATE: You're not over any of this are you? I mean, look at these!
LILY: I know what you're thinking, but they're actually really
important. The guy I was dating lost his job over them. Couldn't just
throw them away could I? They're what give his sacrifice meaning.
KATE: You're talking about Dave the metal head moron?
LILY: And ex- assistant salesman in Boot-O-rama.
KATE: So you got the boots and he got the blame?
LILY: Made going out with him really awkward. One of the many reasons
I dumped him.
KATE: Wow. You're just adorable aren't you.
LILY: Well I tried to make it up to him, got him out here pretending
this was my old family home and I was going to tell him what I'd done
but he just got the idea I was proposing marriage or something and
just sort of freaked out and ran off.
KATE: Yeah. Great plan, I met him. Kept gushing about your future
together and didn't seem to know he was dumped at all. But don't
worry, I put him straight.
LILY: What did you say?
KATE: Just a little white lie to the effect that you weren't around
any more. That's all.
LILY: And he believed it?
KATE: I sort of dressed it up a bit so he'd want to believe it.
LILY: Dressed it up?
KATE: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. After all the practice I've
had rejecting the string of losers you threw at me I've got pretty
convincing.
LILY: I was only trying to help you. And they weren't all losers.
KATE: The prosecution brings up Steve.
LILY: Steve was not intentional. He was an accident. Accidents
happen.
KATE: Mike.
LILY: Perfectly nice guy. Didn't know about the curry till later. What
were the chances?
KATE: Phil?
LILY: Technically not my fault.
KATE: Simon? Greg? John? Heathcliff?
LILY: Ah come on! What was I supposed to do? The guy was called
Heathcliff for crying out loud! And you're Kate! I mean, you have to
give it a shot don't you?
KATE : No you don't! I don't want a Heathcliff or a Mike or Steve or
any of those guys. I want someone like me that likes me, even if I'm
sober. Someone with enough brain to think about things outside of his
own stomach and who actually cares about his friends and family the
way I do, and when I meet him I'll know it, and he'll know me and he
won't be some moron loser friend of a friend of a friend.
LILY: Yeah okay relax will you? I only asked you to help with the
stuff. That's all.
KATE: Well okay then, fine, but I honestly thought you'd dragged me
out here tonight to set me up with some moron. Got to say I'm actually
relieved that it's just to help you get over your kleptomania and
throw all this stuff away.
LILY: Well yes… But we're not actually throwing it away.
KATE: We're not? There's a garbage skip right outside.
LILY: We're more just sort of moving it in case someone finds it and
puts two and two together and gets me into trouble.
KATE: You mean Dave?
LILY: It'd be the perfect revenge.
KATE: So get rid of it!
LILY: I can't!
KATE: I can!
LILY: No! Don't!
The girls tussle over the boots.
KATE: Stop holding on to the past!
LILY: Stop holding onto my boots!
KATE: I can't! I'm being supportive here!
LILY: Then let go of the boots!
KATE: No! I'm too caring!
LILY: I don't care about your caring! I want my stuff!
KATE: It's not your stuff!
LILY: It is! I stole it fair and square!
KATE: What! that's stupid!
LILY: Well you're stupid!
KATE: You're the one being stupid!
LILY: No you are.
KATE: Shut up!
LILY: You shut up!
KATE: You shut up!
LILY: You shut up!
KATE: You shut up!
LILY: You shut up!
KATE successfully wrangles the boots off LILY.
KATE: All this stuff has to go Lily. All of it. You can't get a life
till you let it go!
LILY: I've got a life! You're holding it right there in your hand!
Don't you get it? It's the only thing that made me feel alive and if
you throw it away I'll be dead! I can't let it go!
LILY grabs the boots again.
KATE: Did you hear shouting?
KATE and LILY both stop fighting.
LILY: Okay I'm sorry. I'm just a little strung out right now. I didn't
mean to shout.
KATE: No, Not us, shouting. From over there.
LILY: You mean outside?
KATE: Sounded like voices.
LILY: We better check it out.
KATE: We?
LILY: If you like you can stay here, with the evidence.
LILY throws the boots back in the closet.
KATE: We it is.
LILY and KATE exit
Scene 3
A Darkened room with a door. Enter BOB and DAVE.
BOB: That's it?
DAVE: Yes.
BOB: That's the porthole into the nether regions?
DAVE: Portal of night beyond the twilight void of the plutonian abyss
if you don't mind.
BOB is clearly disappointed.
DAVE: What?
BOB: Well, it's just a bit..
DAVE: A bit what?
BOB: Well, you know, I mean. You hear dark portal of the twilight
abyss and..
DAVE: And?
BOB: Well, you expect a bit more don't you?
DAVE: That's because you're not enlightened. You don't wot of the
arcane mysteries like me.
BOB: I don't what?
DAVE: No. You don't.
BOB: Well yeah, fair play, you tell me it opens to a platonic world of
stigian dark beyond the shores of night and I'll believe you.
DAVE: Good.
BOB: But it could just as easily be my Gran's knitting circle.
DAVE: No it couldn't! This door doesn't open to a world of interesting
things to do with wool on a rainy day. This is our ticket to the
underworld, the land of the dead okay? I know this stuff. I am versed
in the dark arts, steeped in the ancient lore of forgotten masters of
arcane knowing. I've listened to every track on every album that
Rotting Tramp ever made! Seven times. Backwards!
BOB: Sorry Dave. But you got to admit, it doesn't look anything like
it does on the album covers. It's a lot less fiery and not raining
blood for one thing.
DAVE: That's because you're not seeing it in it's true form. Once my
power has unlocked its dark pin code and we pass through to the other
side, you'll see fire, you'll see rain. You'll see-
BOB: (Singing) Sunny days that I thought would never-
DAVE is not amused.
BOB: Maybe not.
DAVE: You're not taking this seriously are you.
BOB: Sorry Dave.
DAVE: This matters to me Bob. This is important. The most important
thing I have ever done in my life.
BOB: It is? Really?
DAVE: You remember that girl I was going out with?
BOB: You went out with her once.
DAVE: Twice actually okay? And time is immaterial here Bob. Our souls
connected. We were as one. And we will be again. This house is her old
ancestral family home. She brought me out to see it, talked about us
and our lives together and all the things we were going to do. I
remember that day. I was happy Bob, happy as I never had been before
or since, I rushed out to embrace the world and all in it. And then I
found out..
[end of extract]
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