A Wonderful Vacation by Ken Abraham

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This Play is the copyright of the Author and must not be Performed or Copied without the Author’s prior consent


    CHARACTERS

      Mr. Denelli         a thirty-ish teacher who organized the trip
      Pappion                 a middle-aged Polynesian princess
      Chief                   an island autocrat (Horatio)
      Lucretia Tarbell     the school nurse
      Chip                   a very rich high school student
      Phillip           a regular high school student
      Marcie             a very popular high school student
      Father             Mr. Chippendale (Chip’s father)
      Tidytips                 a servant to the princess
      Harbinger               a functionary of the Chief

      Minor roles:       

Students 1 and 2
Representatives 1 and 2
Natives 1 and 2
Tax collectors 1 and 2
Assorted Natives and Students for Chorus and background
(non-speaking roles)

      ACT ONE

      [The lawn near auditorium]

      [As the overture fades, enter Marcie, Chip, Phillip, and all students]

      STUDENT 1:          Is this where we meet?

      STUDENT 2:          I’m so excited I can’t believe we’re really going to
      Hawaii!

      PHILLIP:                See how we support this trip!

      MARCIE:                Chip, I told you to bring a poster even though you don’t
      plan to sail with us. Where is it?

      CHIP:            I forgot.

      PHILLIP:                Forget him! If he doesn’t want to go with us, he shouldn’t
      have a poster…

      MARCIE:                Don’t be odious.

      PHILLIP:                Yea, and we don’t want you to act superior like that

      CHIP [to Phillip]:    Don’t try to be something you’re not!


      [Enter Mr. Denelli]

      MARCIE [waves]:      Over here, Mr. Denelli.  [to students] Quiet
      everyone. Here comes Mr. Denelli.

      DENELLI:          Greetings, fellow travelers.

      STUDENTS:          Hi, hello, [all speaking at once]

      DENELLI:          Get ready, everyone, we leave tomorrow on Mr. Chippendale’s
      yacht. [to Chip] I don’t know how to thank your father, Chip.

      DENELLI:          Marcie look! I see posters everywhere. Who thought of that?


      MARCIE:                I knew you would like it. Mr. Denelli.  It gets
      everybody in the mood.

      DENELLI:          A great idea.

      MARCIE:                Oh, thank you. I always want to be helpful.
      [beaming]

      CHIP:            Why don’t you go to England, or someplace with culture?

      DENELLI:                Not from the west coast. You can discuss it with your
      father.

      CHIP:            Study Hawaii, What a fraud!

      PHILLIP:                He knows about fraud. He’s trying to sell his car.

      DENELLI:          Hawaii was an early trading port with the Far East.  Tell
      us Marcie, what innovations came from the Far East.

      MARCIE:                Well, there’s, gun powder, printing, uh…

      PHILLIP:              My favorite is the Chinese back scratcher.
      [student one scratches his back as he wiggles in pleasure]

      CHIP [to Phillip]:    I look at you and somehow I think of the silk
      worm.

      DENELLI:          Don’t be sarcastic. I admit. This is also a vacation. After
      all, school was out when the last bell rang. Summer is here, and we’re
      going to enjoy it!

      SONG #1 “WONDERFUL VACATION”
      [Students and Denelli except Chip who has his solo below]

      Let’s have a wonderful vacation,
      We’ll have a chance to sail the sea,
      We’ll have a wonderful vacation,
      Swimming and surfing in Hawaii, Hawaii.

      Let’s have a marvelous vacation,
      Let’s go away until the Fall,
      We’ll have a marvelous vacation,
      We’ll have the grandest time,

      Deep in a tropic clime.

      Out where the cocoanuts grow tall,
      Oh, we’ll have a marvelous vacation,
      CHIP: I’ll have a lonesome time!
      CHORUS: Yes, we’ll have a marvelous vacation!

      CHIP: We date, we dine.
      I wait, I pine.
      Just looking forward to the day she’ mine.
      I want to hold her,
      But she likes an older,
      An old gad-about, who is
      A nut, it’s true.

      And what I do
      Can never win against his ballyhoo.
      I’ve laid the groundwork,
      But he gets around work.
      He’s taking my Marcie away!

      DENELLI AND CHORUS:
      Let’s have a fling we’ll all remember,
      Let’s go to sea and have a ball.
      Let’s hang it up until September,
      We’ll find adventure one and all, one and all.

      We’ll take our sport experimental,
      We’ll show them how to do or dare,
      Minus anxieties parental,
      We’ll greet the sunny morn
      Nearer to Capricorn.
      Each day will be a day so fair!
      Oh, we’ll have a marvelous vacation.
      CHIP: I’ll have an awful time,
      CHORUS: Yes, we’ll have a marvelous vacation.

      CHIP: She’ nice, she’s prime,
      She’s so sublime.
      To please her I’ve been working over-time.
      I had her ready to go with me steady
      Then enter the older man.

      I’ve lost my cool.
      And that old fool,
      Just wants to get me on the dunces stool.
      I had her loyal
      Now he’s gonna spoil
      My labor of love over her.

      DENELLI & CHORUS:
      Let’s have a wonderful vacation.
      We’ll have a chance to sail the sea,
      We’ll have a wonderful vacation,
      Swimming and surfing in Hawaii, Hawaii.
      Let’s have a marvelous vacation,
      Let’s go away until the Fall.
      We’ll have a marvelous vacation.
      We’ll have the grandest time,
      Deep in the tropic clime,
      Out where the cocoanuts grow tall.
      Oh, we’ll have a marvelous vacation.
      CHIP: I’ll have an awful time.
      CHORUS: Yes, we’ll have a marvelous vacation.

      MARCIE:            Just think. Tomorrow we cast off in Mr. Chippendale’s
      yacht.

      DENELLI:      It’s exciting, isn’t it? Now, everyone give me your checks.
      [He gathers them]

      PHILLIP:          Is the money due now?

      DENELLI:      The price is clearly printed on you application form.

      CHIP:        Do you still have a reading problem, Phillip?

      PHILLIP:          How can I have a reading problem when I haven’t opened a
      book in years?

      [Denelli exits and Chip takes down posters]

      MARCIE:            With care, please. Those belong to Mr. Denelli.

      [Chip rolls up posters and puts them in a garbage can. Marcie removes
      them.]

      CHIP:        I’m expressing my opinion of your trip.

      MARCIE:            Of all the nerve. You know I can’t disappoint Mr. Denelli.

      CHIP:        Think of all the fun you and I could have here in [insert name
      of town where performance is] this summer.  The beach, movies,
      dancing—lots of stuff. It will be fun!

      PHILLIP:          How do you know that stuff is fun for her?

      CHIP:        Get lost, idiot!

      MARCIE:            If you want to spend time with me, why not join the cruise?
      It’s your father’s yacht. He’d probably give you a discount if you
      asked him nicely.

      CHIP:        I spend all my allowance to take you out in style. Fender
      skirts, musical horns, seat covers, you know.

      MARCIE:            Did you borrow the money from your rich father?

      CHIP:        I already owe him two G’s.

      MARCIE:      You owe your father two thousand dollars?

      PHILLIP:          No, that two gallons of gas. He’s been speeding recklessly
      to Hamburger Heaven.

      CHIP:        I had an entire summer planned out for us, just you and me.
      Where did I go wrong?

      MARCIE:            Frankly, it’s the way you go about things: you are totally
      transparent.

      PHILLIP:          And besides, she can see right through you.

      MARCIE:            You see, Chip, it’s like this: A girl likes to feel that she
      is appreciated for her true qualities. You’ve got to show me that you
      like me for myself, not as an accessory on the front seat of your car.

      SONG #2 “SAY I’M GORGEOUS”
      [Marcie]

      Say I’m gorgeous,
      Say I’m cordial,
      Say you like the way I am.
      Say I’m stylish,
      By the mile-ish,
      Say I’m sweet as berry jam.
      Say my manner
      Is a fanner
      Of your passions ardent flame.
      Say my figure,
      Seems to trigger,
      All the thoughts of love you claim.
      Say my talent,
      Never latent,
      Stems from genius unsurpassed.
      Say my kindness,
      Toward your distress,
      Is an act you most request.
      Don’t just date me,
      Venerate me,
      And I’ll never more resist.

      CHIP:        [over background, music] Now I know just what you want. I’ll
      tell you just what you want to hear Sunday through Friday, and twice
      on Saturday night.

      [Everyone exits except Chip, Marcie, and Phillip]

      MARCIE:            Well, I’ll have to consider what you’re telling me.

      [Enter Denelli]

      DENELLI:      I forgot my posters.

      MARCIE:            Here they are. I saved them from destruction.

      DENELLI:      Thank you so much.

      [Denelli exits]

      CHIP:        Everyone knows that you are the most popular girl in school,
      Queen of the Senior Ball, head cheer leader, student government
      secretary, high scorer on all the national exams.

      MARCIE:            All but math.

      CHIP:        Math is not important so who cares about that?

      DENELLI [pops in]:    Are you all packed?

      MARCIE:            Yes, I mean no.  Would you like me to wear something
      special?

      DENELLI:      Anything you choose will show excellent taste.

      CHIP [to Marcie]:    Have you thought about it?

      MARCIE:            I’ll think about it.

      PHILLIP: [aside to Marcie] You can’t drop out now!

      MARCIE: [aside]      I know. But I have to let him down easily; that’s the
      duty of any Popular Girl.

[end of extract]

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