Monday morning: A corridor - Arnold Webster, early forties, is reprimanding Mark, a fifth-former

ARNOLD : Listen sunshine, if I say you were kicking the ball in the corridor, you were kicking the ball in the corridor. Do I make myself clear?

MARK : I just dropped it, sir.

ARNOLD : Of course you did. And your foot just happened to get in the way and then the ball just happened to levitate to the far end of the corridor and hit that triumph of modern art, hm? And stand up straight, for God's sake.

ANNOUNCER :

Fade up a small room off the main corridor used by the English Department as a meeting place & for the preparation of work. Michael Sutcliffe, a teacher, early thirties is marking an essay. Arnold interupts, sighs

ARNOLD : No sugar and the bloody milk's gone sour.

MICHAEL : There's a tin of the powdered stuff and you might find some saccharine in Norma's filing cabinet.

ARNOLD : I want a cup of coffee not a chemical cocktail. Looks like I'll have to face Britain's hope on an empty stomach. Oh yes, I had the misfortune to bump into one of your shower on the way up - kicking a football at the Lower School Arts Exhibition. Mark somebody - shaven head and a far away gormless look ...

MICHAEL : Mark Jasmine ?

ARNOLD : That's him - I'm seeing him tonight after registration. You're being remarkably deligent this morning.

MICHAEL : Essays for 5H, should have finished them yesterday.

ARNOLD : Let's have a look, then.

MICHAEL : (handing Arnold essays) Allan Rooks has some interesting views.

ARNOLD : I'm sure he has, bloody pain ... Hartley ... Oboke ... Baines ... dear me, you have got some villains, haven't you ? Ah yes ... Alison Wrigglesworth "When I leave school" Now there's a lovely thought for a wet Monday. Wrigglesworth? Isn't she the one who called Norma a tart because she didn't wear a bra?

Danny Williams, a Welshman, aged sixty-five enters

DANNY : Morning, fellow sufferers.

MICHAEL : Morning, Danny.

DANNY : Any coffee ?

ARNOLD : Coffee, yes - milk and sugar, no.

DANNY : Ah well, not to worry - one more week and all this will be mere memory, ghostly images to relish as I luxuriate in well-earned retirement.

ARNOLD : You been reading Dylan Thomas again, boyo ?

DANNY : Spare me the sour grapes - you've only another twenty-three years, Arnold, it'll soon pass. Meanwhile I shall relish my twilight years in the certain knowledge you and Michael are raising the masses into the golden splendour of the enlightenment.

ARNOLD : You've always had an erring talent for cliche, Danny - you should have been a headmaster.

DANNY : Very kind of you to say so, Arnold, but the true genius of the cliche was our former headmaster, dear Doctor Hedgegrove. When I first came to the school, being totally inexperienced, I was of course given the most difficult classes-

There is a knock & the door is immediately opened by Mary O'Sullivan, aged fifteen

MARY : Excuse me, sir, but the Careers Man's waiting in the Office.

MICHAEL : Thanks, Mary - do you think you could bring him up?

MARY : But I've just come up, sir.

MICHAEL : Then you'll just have to go down again, won't you?

MARY : Aw, sir ...

MICHAEL : Go on ...

Mary leaves, closing door

DANNY : Careers man ?

ARNOLD : Micheal's preparing them for the big world outside.

DANNY : Always one for a challenge, eh, Michael?

Bells ring, indicating start of registration

ARNOLD : Looks like Norma's late again ...

DANNY : Hasn't she phoned ?

MICHAEL : Probably the buses.

ARNOLD : Or another dose of flu. I saw her Friday night, outside Woolworths, flogging her Socialist Worker, pouring with rain it was.

DANNY : There's commitment for you.

ARNOLD : Subversion, more like - she catches a cold then takes a week off on full pay, and it's not as if-

Norma, early thirties, a Londoner, enters irate & flustered

NORMA : Bloody buses, all half an hour late ! Then they're full when they do arrive.

ARNOLD : Morning sweetness, good of you to join us.

NORMA : Piss off, Arnold, it's hardly my fault - where's that sodden register?

DANNY : Allow me ...

More bells ...

ARNOLD : Well dear colleagues - shall we face the savage hordes?

FADE UP - Classroom, MICHAEL calls the register

MICHAEL : Papaspirou.

PABLO : Sir

MICHAEL : Rampal.

ARVIND : Sir.

MICHAEL : Rooks.

ALLAN : Here, sir.

MICHAEL : Sitwell. (pause) Pablo, would you happen to know what's wrong with Sitwell ?

PABLO : Dunno, sir.

MICHAEL : Well if you do happen to bump into him, an he is bunking off as I strongly suspect, you might warn him the Welfare Officer plans to have a chat with his mother, if you take my meaning ?

PABLO : Sir.

MICHAEL : Don't let it be said I didn't give fair warning. All right, settle down! I said, that's enough ! I've nearly finished. Alison Wrigglesworth.

ALISON : Sir

MICHAEL : Fine. Right, you lot. Mark ! I'm not sitting here talking to myself.

MARK : I'm just telling him, sir.

MICHAEL : Well tell him in your time, not mine.

MARK : Won't take a minute, sir.

MICHAEL : You know, Mark - if your brain was half the size of your mouth, you'd be a genius.

MARK : What, like you, sir ?

MICHAEL : That's right, Mark - like me. Perhaps if you pay attention for once you might suprise us all and actually learn something.

MARK : That'd be a change.

ALLAN : Jonesy ! Just watch your stupid mouth !

MARK : Gonna make me, Rooksie ?

MICHAEL : All right, that's enough out of both of you. And I don't need you to stick your oar in, thank you, Allan.

ALLAN : He makes me sick, sir.

MARK : Well you make me sick too.

MICHAEL : And you're both making me sick. That's enough, right ? (pause) OK… Now, as you know, these past few lessons we've been talking about jobs - what you lot are going to do when the great day arrives for you to leave.

Cheers

MICHAEL : Think it's funny ? Schooldays are the happiest of your life, so imagine how bad the rest are going to be.

MARK : Funny.

MICHAEL : Anyway, in common with many other teachers, I've never actually left school myself, so I don't feel particularly well-placed to advise you lot, which is why I've asked Mr Jarvis our Careers Officer to have a word.

JARVIS : Thank you, Mr Sutcliffe. So, let's get cracking, shall we ? Now as you've no doubt seen on TV and read in the papers, this isn't the best of times to look for a job, especially your first. So I won't stand here and pretend it'll be easy, but before I start, perhaps you'd like to ask one or two questions?

Pause

MICHAEL : They're not usually this shy, Mr Jarvis. Come on, Mark - you've had plenty to say for yourself this morning.

MARK : Aw, I dunno, sir - don't seem a lot of point, I mean, well, my brother, my brother Jimmy, he wanted to be a mechanic, didn't he ? Wrote off to dozens of garages, never even got a reply. Don't want to know, do they ?

JARVIS : Well...Mark, is it ?

MARK : Yeh.

MICHAEL : Yeh, sir.

JARVIS : Well, Mark, I didn't say it would be easy. What's your bother doing now ?

MARK : On the dole, like me Dad.

JARVIS : And does he have any qualifications ?

MARK : Naw, not really. Mucked around too much like me. But he ain't stupid.

JARVIS : I'm sure he's not.

MARK : And he's brilliant with cars.

JARVIS : So what about you ?

MARK : Dunno really, don't seem much point.

JARVIS : Don't want to spend your life living off the State, do you ?

MARK : Course I don't, none of my family does, but Jimmy's cleverer than me, so what chance I got ?

JARVIS : How many of you intend going on to Sixth Form. Hm … only three, eh?

MICHAEL : I thought you were, Mary ?

MARY : I was, sir, but my Mum's been put on short time, might even be laid off.

ALLAN : I think Tony has a question, sir.

TONY : No, I don't.

ALLAN : He wants to join the Army, sir.

TONY : Shut up, will you ?

MICHAEL : Is that right, Tony ?

ALLAN : Tell him he's mad, sir.

MICHAEL : Tony has the right to choose whichever job he wishes, same as you.

ALLAN : Oh, I see - he can choose any job, can he ?

TONY : What's so great about what you're doing, man ? You're full of crap.

MICHAEL : Yes, thank you, Tony.

ALLAN : Maybe I'm doing you a favour ?

TONY : I don't need you to do me no favours.

ALLAN : Tell him, sir.

MICHAEL : I think you're the one that needs telling.

TONY : Just shut it, right ?

ALLAN : At least I won't be shooting anyone.

TONY : I ain't gonna be shooting no-one, man. You know nothing about it. I wanna be a technician - radar. You heard of that ?

ALLAN : And what if they do happen to stick a gun in your hand ?

TONY : That's my problem.

ALLAN : That's your problem, so what's your answer ?

JARVIS : Mr Sutcliffe, if I could perhaps point out to our young friend, that however strongly he feels about pacifism, all societies need to be able to defend themselves, to protect the sort of society they believe in

ALLAN : Oh yeh ? And I suppose Tony believes in this sort of society, or am I wrong ?

MICHAEL : Allan, you're being impertinent. Can't you just respect Tony's decision.

ALLAN : Why ?

MICHAEL: Why ? What do you mean why ? Because he's free to make up his own mind, that's why.

ALLAN : So ask him. Ask him why he wants to do it.

TONY : Rooksie, drop it, man.

MICHAEL : Tony doesn't have to explain himself to me or anyone else.

ALLAN : So you agree with him ?

MICHAEL : It doesn't matter what I think.

ALLAN : I thought you was meant to be teaching us ?

MICHAEL : Don't push your luck, lad. Now. Are there any other questions ?

ALLAN : Yes, sir - is Tony joining the Army cos he's black and can't get another job ?

TONY : Think you're so bloody clever, don't you ?

MICHAEL : All right, Tony.

ALLAN : So what's clever about getting your head blown off in Northern Ireland ?

TONY : No-one's gonna blow my head off, man.

ALLAN : Don't you read the papers ? You got a charmed life, or something?

TONY : That's right - voodoo. I'll be sticking pins in little green dolls.

MICHAEL : Ok, ok - I think you've both had your say.

ALLAN : But it's important, sir.

MICHAEL : I know it's important, Allan, but we can't talk about it now.

ALLAN : When then ?

MICHAEL : Just leave it, Allan.

ALLAN : You could at least teach him what he's going to be fighting for.

MICHAEL : Don't you tell me my job.

ALLAN : I'm not, sir. But you always tell us to ask questions and say what we think.

MICHAEL : Friday. We'll talk about it Friday, ok ? Now, can we please move on. Yes, Alison ?